Posthaste (2001​-​2012)

by Val Emmich

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    50-SONG BOX SET:
    Unreleased outtakes, demos, covers & rarities from the first 11 years.
    -----------------------------
    100-PAGE COMPANION BOOK = $6.99
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about

50-SONG BOX SET:
Unreleased outtakes, demos, covers & rarities from the first 11 years.
-----------------------------
+ 10 BONUS TRACKS
(when you download the full album)
1) Decadent Decline (Rock Version)
2) Rather Be Lonely (Rock Version)
3) Get On With It (Acoustic)
4) This Ship's Going Down (Woodstock Version)
5) Boy Who Cried Wolf (Live in San Jose)
6) Bury Me (Live in Portland)
7) Hurt More Later (Live in New York)
8) First Try (Live in Asbury Park)
9) The Patient Patient (Live in San Diego)
10) Shock (Live in San Diego)
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NOTE: You will need @500MB of space for MP3 download. Be patient. Download takes a few minutes.

credits

released December 4, 2012

Album art by Gemma Savage.

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about

Val Emmich Jersey City, New Jersey

Singer-Songwriter / Actor / Writer

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Track Name: A Child Again
I want to catch a comet
With my own bare hands
Then just send it flying
All over again
Be a part of something
I can’t understand

I want to be a child again...
(My father's ten feet tall as strong as superman)
A child again...
(My mother’s tender kiss could mend a broken hand)
When magic was king
And the world was a ball on a string
I knew everything

I want some animation
To set my mind ablaze
I want my older brother
To lead my mind astray
My parachute umbrella
It'll help me land

I want to be a child again...
(My fathers ten feet tall as strong as superman)
A child again...
(My mother’s tender kiss could mend a broken hand)
When magic was king
And the world was a ball on a string
I knew everything

I knew everything
Track Name: A Life That Isn't Yours
Try and get ahead
Success at any cost
Be careful what you leave behind
It may be your pride

You are heading for a life that isn't yours
You are giving up all the things that you love
When you're time is up in a speeding car
Will you like what you find?
You still have time to get it right

It's so easy to waste
Regret has an awful taste
So lie in the bed you make
And try to sleep well

You are heading for a life that isn't yours
You are giving up all the things that you love
When you're time is up in a speeding car
Will you like what you find?
You still have time to get it right

You still have time...
You still have time...
You still have time...

...to get it right.
Track Name: A Very Long Time
They walk the walk
They dress the dress
Know how to talk
Play hard to get
If there’s something more
I haven’t seen it yet

But you’re nothing from a magazine
Your clothes are wrong
You talk while you eat
You’re not well read
You watch bad TV

You came and conquered me overnight
No big production, no neon signs
Just you being no one but you
I’ve waited for you a very long time

A state of panic's what I've grown to know
But you keep your balance on your tippy-toes

You came and conquered me overnight
No bells, no baggage, no little white lies
Just you being nothing but you
I’ve waited for you a very long time
So many try it, so few get it right
I’ve waited for you a very long time
Track Name: Absolutely Still (Radio Version)
This grey room
This bunker
The air is humming
Us to sleep

While outside
The city hurry
The endless worry
Is out of reach

Promise me you’ll never leave this room
A million years from now would be too soon

The world is spinning turning day to night
And my thoughts are running at the speed of light
Got an empty feeling that I never want to fill
Absolutely still
I waited longer cuz I needed proof
That every door I shut’s leading me to you
And there’s a nervous feeling that I never want to kill
Absolutely still

We were running
From the same noise
We were stuck in
The same pursuit

Now the door’s locked
I find that
The dizzy madness
Is bleeding thru

Promise me you’ll never leave this room
A million years from now would be too soon

The world is spinning turning day to night
And my thoughts are running at the speed of light
Got an empty feeling that I never want to fill
Absolutely still
I waited longer cuz I needed proof
That every door I shut’s leading me to you
And there’s a nervous feeling that I never want to kill
Absolutely still

I’ll go anywhere you want tonight
Cuz my head is spinning like a satellite
I got a restless feeling that i never want to fill
I’m absolutely still
Track Name: All The Pretty Girls
Turn on the TV
Open a magazine
Follow the pretty feet
Right down Prince Street
You are what I want, you are what I want (yeah)
You are what I want, you are what I want (yeah)
Like a kid in a candy store
I want more and more and more

All the pretty girls
Oh they run this world
Sense makes no sense
When faced with beauty so intense

I am hypnotized
By the products they advertised
The cold blue eyes
It’s you I want to buy
You are what I want, you are what I want (yeah)
You are what I want, you are what I want (yeah)
I am so ashamed
I buy into the dirty game

All the pretty girls
Oh they run this world
Sense makes no sense
When faced with beauty so intense

You are what I want, you are what I want (yeah)
You are what I want, you are what I want (yeah)
Track Name: All The Time
One too many lies
And you run out of places to hide
Yeah, it's true that a part of you dies
What was sin is now a casual crime

You're burning both ends
And you can't tell your friends
And it's lonely
So lonely

It's too hard to stop
Cuz there's never enough
You're still hungry
So hungry
All the time

It's a modern disease
The desire for more than anyone needs
But still there's nobody to blame
You alone you have to choke on the shame

It's dark to go back
You don't know where you're at
And it's empty
So empty

There's no choice to make
You don't care what they say
Cuz you're hungry
So hungry
All the time

You don't know why

All the time
Track Name: Answers
Step by step through Henley square
The smell of fire is everywhere
When I look back
A cloud of smoke
It follows me where I go
I’m losing limbs
I’m losing faith
I’m losing her
I’m losing weight
The questionnaire
It’s still blank
She’s asking me
But I can’t say
She’s asking me
But i can’t say

Been walking aimlessly
Disconnected from my feet
Disconnected from the whole
I've been searching high and low
For the answers I already know

Grab a bite
More than I can chew
I’m feeling things I can’t compute
An endless hole is threatening
If I don’t watch
It’ll swallow me
Take me now by the throat
Tell me things that I don’t know

Been walking aimlessly
Disconnected from my feet
Disconnected from the whole
I've been searching high and low
For the answers I already know

Here the whole time
Right before my eyes
I keep spinning in circles
Faster and faster

Been walking aimlessly
Disconnected from my feet
Disconnected from the whole
I've been searching high and low
For the answers I already know

For the answers I already know
Track Name: B&W Photographs
A shiny apple with a worm inside
That's kind of how I've come to see this life
Never know what you get until you take a bite
Think you bit off more than you can chew this time

Black-and-white photographs ingrained
inside the tissues in my brain
I fall asleep but still the images remain
I can't erase, I can't forget
The memories, the past regrets
These things are haunting me
These things I want to forget

Your past encounters were the jagged knife
That carved your mindset and shaped your life
You are a product of nature's mess
It's hard to accept, it's so hard to feel blessed

Black-and-white photographs ingrained
inside the tissues in my brain
I fall asleep but still the images remain
I can't erase, I can't forget
The memories, the past regrets
These things are haunting me
These things I want to forget

I don't blame you for it
I don't blame you for it
I don't blame you
I don't want my every move in life to be because of it
I can understand
I can understand what made you do it
I just gotta find a way to scare away the thought of it

Black-and-white photographs ingrained
inside the tissues in my brain
I fall asleep but still the images remain
I can't erase, I can't forget
The memories, the past regrets
These things are haunting me
These things I want to forget

I can't erase, I can't forget
The memories, the past regrets
These things are haunting me
These things I want to forget
Track Name: Board A Plane, Drive A Car
Cut to me in a week
I will evaporate
Roll down the sink
I wish I could cry
Feel relief
All my real feelings trapped inside of me
So I turn to words
Spit them out
In the hopes that someone
Will come help me out

I can't fit food down my mouth
Walking around in a cloud
What can I do to get back to you?
Send me a clue

Board a plane
Drive my car
I doubt that either would get me far
Cuz I don't know if I can change
But you know that I don't want to stay the same

I watch as the birds fly south
Soon the snow hits the ground
Missing the warmth that I felt in your arms
Now you are gone

Remember this: I will miss
Your powdery scent and your selfless kiss

So I run from the thoughts in my head
The memories of things that are dead
I can't go home cuz I'd die there alone
I can't go home cuz I'd die there alone
And so I roam
So I roam
Track Name: Calm Come Quick
I’m not afraid of dying
Not afraid of what comes next
I don’t fear the Reaper
I don’t fear the end

I’m not afraid of zealots
Not afraid of war
Bombs or explosions
Or a nuclear downpour

I’m not afraid of guns
Not afraid of crime
I don’t fear my brother
We’re all equal all the time

Every move
Every step
I’m in no danger
Nothing’s happened yet
No red flags
Nothing’s wrong
Calm come quick
I can’t keep this up for long

I’m not afraid of failure
I don’t fear success
I don’t fear rejection
I don’t fear regret

I’m not afraid of falling
Not afraid of love
I don’t fear commitment
Or giving myself up

Not afraid of sickness
Not afraid of growing old
I’m not afraid of karma
Or all the lies I’ve told

Every move
Every step
Every single second
A possible regret
No alarms
Nothing’s wrong
Calm come quick
I can’t keep this up for long
Calm come quick
Track Name: Come And Get Me
Once again I’ve hit the wall
Where the list of options gets so small
But I have seen the other side
I won’t cower, I won’t hide
I’ll get there if i have to crawl

You will not catch up to me
I’ll keep moving when you sleep
I’ve got a sickness
And there ain’t no cure for me

Better bring in the cavalry
Cuz I don’t shake and I don’t bleed
I'm a whisper of an ancient melody
So come and get me

My eyes are open big and wide
Just got one thing in my sights
I don’t care how far or long
If it’s just to prove you wrong
I’ll take pleasure in the fight

You will not catch up to me
I’ll keep moving when you sleep
I’ve got a sickness
And there ain’t no cure for me

Better bring in the cavalry
Cuz I don’t shake and I don’t bleed
I'm a whisper of an ancient melody
So come and get me

So come and get me
Track Name: Crash Landing
We are in the air
With no parachutes
And neither one of us has a clue
How we got this high
Our biggest fear is falling down

I don't know how to fly this thing
So if you're scared then you should be

Crash landing
I want you to burn with me

You are so fucking cute
When you are under stress
And you're hanging on to me
As if I know what I'm doing
But I don't

I don't know how to fly this thing
So if you're scared well you should be

Crash landing
I want you to burn with me
Understand me
I'm ready to admit defeat

We talk about our love more than anyone I know
Maybe it's overdone but we just want to get it right
If one of us should fall and tumble
The other one would follow
Cuz this time it's equal

Spinning out of control
Both of us incredulous
Spinning out of control
Both of us we are ready
Spinning out of control
Both of us we are helpless
Track Name: Drag It On
Baby hold that thought
I give up before the battle is fought
Yeah I'm waving the flag
I surrender and I'm not even mad

I just want the talking to stop
I only want the charges dropped
I don't need to be the one who's right
I just want to say goodnight

Come on...baby let's be honest
It's gone...everything we promised
It's wrong...to drag this on
Come on...let's drag it on

It's a common mistake
We ignore the little things we hate
Till we finally break
A smile is just too heavy to fake

I'm tired and I want to get out
I forgot what we were fighting about
Maybe you and I are the same
Neither one of us can change

Come on...baby let's be honest
It's gone...everything we promised
It's wrong..to drag this on
Come on...let's drag it on

On and on and on and on
Pretending that there's nothing
On and on for way too long
I might finally love you when you're gone

Come on...baby let's be honest
It's gone...all the lies we promised
It's wrong..to drag this on
Come on...let's drag it on

On and on and on and on
Pretending that there's nothing wrong
On and on and on and on
Pretending that I'll love you when you're gone
Pretending that I'll love you
Come on...let's drag it on
Track Name: Elliot
In my head I had a picture
of a situation a lot like this

I would go and blow it all for just one glimpse
of a less predictable, more tragic twist

I owe you an apology
for letting you believe
this time the hope
would lead me

I've gone and blown it all for just one glimpse
of a less predictable, more tragic twist

I'm sorry

In my head I had a picture
of a situation a lot like this
Track Name: Fine Dining
I can see now where I got lost
So many lines I should have crossed
Now I know what I could have done
Now I know I should have

In all those films that we saw
Were the guidelines of love so raw
Now I know how it works
Now I know how I could have kept you

I wanna eat with you in a nice restaurant
Take you someplace and treat you right
Wanna buy you a dress to wear
Wanna watch you wash and style your hair
Wanna hold your hand too hard
Wanna see your neck shine across the table
Wanna lead you to the floor
Ask you to dance for the very first time
Wanna spin you around, put you on display
Then pull you in tight, show everyone it’s okay
To feel how we feel
To be who we are
We were lost but that was okay
It’s a lot easier when two people feel that way
Now I’m lost without you
I see all the simple things I could have done to hold onto you

I wanna pick you up and ride
Wanna drive at careless speeds
With the music too loud so we can’t speak
But I know exactly what you’re trying to say to me
Be here with me now
Just be here with me now

I wish you would call me
I wish you would call me now
Track Name: From Afar
I see you everywhere
But we never meet
I see you everywhere
But we never speak
There you are from afar
Making me shake
There you are beautiful
Making me ache

Girl oh, what I would do with your love
Oh, what I would do with your love

If you were mine time would fly over our heads
If you were mine we could lie all day in bed
Everyday, every way, swallow you up
Everyday, every way, ready to fuck

Girl oh, what I would do with your love
Oh, what I would do with your love

No one would know
We'd keep it on the down low
Our little secret
It might be hard
To keep our voices low
If we're acting like animals

You convey in subtle ways
You feel the same
You convey in subtle ways
You feel the same
Everytime I look at you
You're looking at me


Girl oh, what I would do with your love
Oh, what I would do with your love
Your love
Track Name: Hard To Explain
Imagine a perfect scene
Palm trees and a blissful breeze
I'm in the corner hugging my knees
Unable to forget my worries

There's no peace to my mind
My worst fear is more free time
Cuz it leaves me here to wrestle my thoughts
A restlessness that hurries my heart

It's hard to explain but I need you the way
A sunny day needs a little rain
It's hard to explain but I need you the way
A one-man boat needs a tidal wave
To come on strong and blow me away
Blow me away

I am more at ease when life is crazy
I salivate for catastrophes
They take my mind away from me

My butterflies are asleep
So come on and wake them for me
I crave the kind of nervousness
That makes me feel alive and anxious

It's hard to explain but I need you the way
A sunny day needs a little rain
It's hard to explain but I need you the way
A one-man boat needs a tidal wave
To come on strong and blow me away
Blow me away

There's no peace to my mind
My worst fear is more free time
Cuz it leaves me here to wrestle my thoughts
A restlessness that hurries my heart

I need you the way
A sunny day needs a little rain
It's hard to explain but I need you the way
A one-man boat needs a tidal wave
To come on strong and blow me away
Blow me away
Track Name: Head On Fire
Why'd you set my head on fire?
I was safe and calm living my life
Why'd you set my head on fire?
All the noise distracted me just fine
I don't mind the volume loud
The only way I know how to get by
Is to live life in a cloud
Fill my head with petty matters

So finish what you started
Burn away the static in me
I'm waiting

Glad you set my head on fire
I created perpetual sunshine
Glad you set my head on fire
I wore a disguise of sugary smiles
I was such a clever liar
But there is beauty where the plainest truth resides
And now I've got my head on fire
Fill my life with all that matters

So finish what you started
Burn away the static in me
I'm waiting

So leave me with just the truth

I'm ready to take the leap
I'm ready to fall
And I'm ready to see
What this means after all

So finish what you started
Burn away the static in me
I'm waiting

So lead me
I'm waiting
Finish what you started
Burn away the static in me
I'm waiting

Glad you set my head on fire
Cuz I've been living so long without you
Track Name: Heavy
You're the gun
I'm your aim
I'm the hand that's set in place
You're the nervous shake

You're a jump from a plane
I'm the parachute you take
You're a big mistake

You're not good for me
But you're what I need

So heavy
You weigh on my mind like an answer
That I'm too dumb to find
A disaster
You're the hunter and you set the bait
That I'm fool enough to take

You're the spins late at night
After cigarettes and wine
I'm sobriety

You're too much
I'm not enough
You're a threat
And I'm a bluff
It's neutrality

You're not good for me
But you're what I need

So heavy
You weigh on my mind like an answer
That I'm too dumb to find
A disaster
You're the hunter and you set the bait
That I'm fool enough to take

You are all that I've wanted
You are everything I am not
You are all that I've wanted
The only honest thing that I have got

Heavy
You weigh on my mind like an answer
That I'm too dumb to find
A disaster
You're the hunter and you set the bait

So heavy
You're the answer that I'm trying to find
Disaster
I watch as you're moving away
And I'm fool to wait

You're a trip without a map
And I don't know my way back
Track Name: Heir To Nothing
Follow the street till you and I meet
Back to the place just out of reach
Heads in space, lying on the concrete
I feel so far from where I wanted to be

The heir to nothing
Nervous, looking for something better
An heir to nothing
Never wanting what I already have
Follow where the circle leads
Round and round, I'm never free
Never where I want to be

Today I feel like a bag of dry leaves
Light a match let the fire breathe
A cloud of smoke catches a breeze
And just like that I'm nothing to see

The heir to nothing
Nervous, looking for something better
An heir to nothing
Never wanting what I already have
Follow where the circle leads
Round and round, I'm never free
Never where I want to be

I'm running in place
In a figure 8
I'm never where I want to be
Or who I ever thought I'd be
Anything but anything, that's me

Follow the street till you and I meet
Back to the place just out of reach

The heir to nothing
Nervous, looking for something better
The heir to nothing
Never wanting what I already have
Follow where the circle leads
Round and round, I'm never free

The heir to nothing
Never where I want to be
Track Name: I Am Your Heart
Right from the start
This was never fair and equal
This was never fair and equal
No way

I wait for your love
Like a desert waits for water
Like a desert waits for water
But I know that it won't ever rain

I am your heart
I am beating, I am bleeding, I am feeding you
Fast as you need me to
I never stop, never quit, never skip a beat
No I never sleep
Cuz I am your heart
I am yours all the time
I am driving you
Hold up the sky for you
Work all alone in the dark
Just to pull you through
So why am I the one who needs you?

Say what you want
You were never really in this
You were never really in this
Were you

I waited for your love
This was never going nowhere
This was never going nowhere
Now I know that you won't ever change
You'll never feel the same

I am your heart
I am beating, I am bleeding, I am feeding you
Fast as you need me to
I never stop, never quit, never miss a beat
No I never sleep
Cuz I am your heart
I am yours all the time
I am driving you
Hold up the sky for you
Work all alone in the dark
Just to pull you through
So why am I the one who needs you?

I am your heart
I'm the one that needs you
Track Name: I Just Lost My Father
I just lost my father
Said he didn't understand me
Said I'm breaking up the family
Got no responsibility

I just told my woman
Said she could no longer wait for me
She said it's better now than gradually
She spoke painstakingly

I just lost all feeling
Like the world crashing down on me
Like I'm falling off a balance beam
Things ain't like they ought to be

I'm dissected by a line
Punctures my heart, trips up my mind
Come on Lord, you're running out of time

I just called my momma
Asking what she thought of me
Said that she ached for me
Said she would pray for me

So then I called my master
That omniscient super being
To come and set things right for me
I just hope he acts swiftly

I'm dissected by a line
Punctures my heart, trips up my mind
Come on Lord, you're running out of time

Come on Lord
Can't you make me happy?
Track Name: Is It Too Soon?
Shaken from my sleep
Awake from a dream that is reality
You appeared in front of me
So suddenly
I can’t explain
The words flow thru my brain
To the tip of my tongue
And I’m afraid there is no way
To say those words and not sound dumb

I want to tell you
But the beautiful terror makes me mute

Is it too soon...
To fall in love with you?
Just fall in love with me
I dare you

Isn’t everybody hoping, waiting, searching for that one
Now that you’re in front of me
You better believe I won’t pass it up
I know I don’t really know you
But i know enough
I know your voice
I know your scent
I know your cheeks turn purple plum

I want to tell you
But the beautiful terror makes me mute

Is it too soon to fall in love with you?
Just fall in love with me
I dare you

Is it too soon...
To fall in love with you?
Just fall in love with me
I dare you
Is it too soon...
For me to follow you?
Or for me to take the lead?
Does it scare you?

I don’t know just how I know
But all I know is this is true
I don’t know just how I know
But all I know is it is you

Is it too soon...
To fall in love with you?
Just fall in love with me
I dare you

Is it too soon...
To fall in love?
To fall in love with you
With me
With you

Is it too soon?
I dare you
Does it scare you?
I dare you
Track Name: Isolated
Warmth comes by keystroke
Such cold comfort
But I got a deep hope
Of some pay dirt
I'm in a tunnel
Staying open is a chore
My pocket phone vibrations
Too easy to ignore

I'm isolated…isolated…
Alone with my thoughts it gets complicated
I wanna see my friends
And get reacquainted
Cuz lately I've been way too isolated

Vanessa writes me
Her words they glow
Wish she could find me
So I'm not alone
I'm in a funnel
Been squeezing down to size
A stranger's sweet reminders
They're keeping me alive

I'm isolated…isolated…
Alone with my thoughts it gets complicated
I wanna see my friends
And get reacquainted
Cuz lately I've been way too isolated

You’ll have to dig for me
Uncover twenty feet of
Of Shame and self pity
I'm living so lavishly
So lonely and so...

I'm isolated…isolated…
Alone with my thoughts it gets complicated
I wanna see my friends
And get rejuvenated
Cuz lately I've been way too isolated
Track Name: Just A Hypothetical
I've been struggling with your memory
Of her head in my hands
Right within my reach
Now I feel like she's on the other side of the world
And I have no appetite cuz my stomach's full of a girl

Here comes a question
Just a hypothetical
Just a silly question
It's dumb but here it goes
If you were that girl
What would you say
If I told you that I needed to see you

One night, one crazy night
It occupies my mind
Maybe I'm mistaken but I think it felt just right
Next time I'll shave closer so I don't irritate your skin
I promise not to snore at night
If you would only let me in

Here comes a question
Just a hypothetical
Just a silly question
It's dumb but here it goes
If you were that girl
What would you say
If I told you that I needed to see you

If you were that girl
What would you say
If I told you that I need you
I need you
I need to see you
So badly
So badly
Track Name: Keep Running
Each time the bell chimes a guard clocks in
With his back turned we’ll take turns murdering him

And we’ll escape from this cage
It’s our fate to run away

Spotlights shining and sirens shout
But in one week's time we’ll be too far out

So get some sleep
You are safe
I will stay
Wide awake

I know you want to stop but you gotta keep running

Bonnie and Clyde got nothing on us
We got blood on our hands
And in god we don’t trust
There should be no doubt
They’ll throw dirt over us
But I got no regrets,
It was freedom or bust
I believed in you and you believed in me
They believe in nothing
They no longer dream
One last kiss, one last breath
We lived life full
Cuz there’s no life after death
Track Name: Like Pulling Teeth Out
I see you roll your eyes
And shake your head
I was full of hope
You made me full of dread

Why you wanna take the fun out?
Why you wanna make it so hard?
Why you drag your feet now?
It's like pulling teeth out

So this ain't what we planned
It never is
I'm trying best I can
To stay positive

Why you wanna take the fun out?
Why you wanna make it so hard?
Why you drag your feet now?
It's like pulling teeth out
Track Name: Make It Up
I've reached a point
Where I must choose
Between two opposing views

Which way to go
Better take it slow
But it's more fun
To jump the gun

Leave no time to think
Cuz it only confuses things

So I'm making it up
Up as I go
Funny how nobody even knows
So wherever this leads
It's fine with me
Cuz I'm done with worrying

Check the pros and cons
All the rights and wrongs
In the end it makes no difference

Which way to go
Better take it slow
But it's more fun to jump the gun

Leave no time to think
Cuz it only confuses things

So I'm making it up
Up as I go
Funny how nobody even knows
So wherever this leads
It's fine with me
Cuz I'm done with worrying

I'll have plenty of time to think
When I am done doing what I feel
Plenty of time to think
When I'm done rushing into things

So I'm making it up
Up as I go
Funny how nobody even knows
So wherever this leads
It's fine with me
Cuz I'm done with worrying
Cuz I'm done

Make it up
Track Name: Melt The Ice
I have been frozen
Through four seasons
Then you arrived
To save my life

Your eyes melt the ice

Way down underneath
Where the sun cannot reach
Your laser beam
It found me

Your eyes melt the ice

Feels so nice
Feels so right

Your eyes melt the ice
Track Name: Met A Girl On The Playground
I ran home from school so fast I nearly fell down
I told my momma I met a girl on the playground
One word to me she never spoke
But we took turns using the Tarzan rope
I was in love…was in love…was in love…I thought so
It was love…it was love…it was love…I know so

Then I met a girl in grade school, she was pretty
She had eyes so piercing blue they made me dizzy
She never raised her hand in class
Even though she got the highest grades in math
I was in love…was in love…was in love…I thought so
It was love…it was love…it was love…I know so

Then I met my first Jewish girl in tenth grade
I told my dad that I met an exotic girl from a far off place
He told me she was the same as me
Although her family was probably more wealthy
I was in love…was in love…was in love…I thought so
It was love…it was love…it was love…I know so

Then I met a girl through a friend of mine named Jaimee
Who studied abroad in Spain with her friend Lonni
She bought me a slice of pizza and
She ordered it in Spanish from a Mexican
I was in love…was in love…was in love…I thought so
It was love…it was love…it was love…I know so

Then I met a girl I swear I knew my whole life
When I touched her hand it didn’t feel like the first time
My momma told me it was true:
“You spend you’re whole life finding what’s right for you”
So I put it in a song for my wedding day
I thought it was a good way to finally say
I’ve been in love…been in love…been in love…with you
Been in love…been in love...long before I even met you
I’ve been in love…been in love…with the idea of you
Imagine my surprise when I finally found you
Track Name: My Bear's In Captivity
My bear’s in captivity
He begs me to set him free

When he's not here
I'm filled with fear
Cuz ever since he got captured
I'm no longer a threat

I was a child with animal thirst
Now second guessing instead comes first
I try
Yes I try
But the fear keeps coming
Fear keeps coming
Fear keeps coming back

My bear keeps gnashing his teeth
Tries to appear threatening

But it’s never real
No it’s never real
It's like a cow in a pasture
I'm no longer a threat

My passivity’s hindering me
Today my bear will again be set free
I try
Yes I try
But the fear keeps coming
Fear keeps coming
Fear keeps coming back

My bear's in captivity
He begs me to set him free
My bear's in captivity
My bear keeps gnashing his teeth
My bear's in captivity
Tries to appear threatening
He begs me to set him free
Track Name: My First, Your Last
Somewhere past the lump in my throat
Is a word I can't pronounce
It has the power to give some meaning to
The silence that's surrounding the both of us

My first time
Your last time
Your heart's tired
But my arms are wide

Caution, hesitate
When love shows its eager face
You escape
cuz you've been burned once or twice before
But I'm here to kickstart your heart
with my electric attitude

My first time
Your last time
Your heart's tired
But my arms are wide

Love aches but there ain't no other way

Somewhere past the lump in my throat
Is a word I wan to announce
But I'm here to kickstart your heart
with my electric attitude

My first time
Your last time
Your heart's tired
But my arms are wide

Your last time
You almost died
We can get this right
Just give it a try

Love aches but there ain't no other way
It's a price I'm willing to pay
For your love
Track Name: Next Time
Driving away from the city
Back to Jersey
And there is no single part of me
That's ready for this journey
Cuz I feel like I'm walking away
From something really special
A book I'm dying to read
But the darkness makes it impossible

So the next time
I'm by your side
I won't just watch you
Walk out of my life

Will I ever find you?

Now I find myself in a very difficult spot
On that Friday night I remembered life is not
Something you can plan
Or something you can predict
All you can do is take it and run with it

So the next time
I'm by your side
I won't just watch you
Walk out of my life

Will I ever find you?
Track Name: No Sound
Wait for the taxi to arrive
While we plan for our goodbye
I wait too long
I wait as long as you could ever want to wait
I still care enough to care

This hurts like hell
I get drunk and wish you well

No sound
Silence all around us
Breakdown
What I want to say is to loud
Everything I want to tell you falls
Falls between us now

I could offer you a gift
Like a mountain or a city
You're not one
You're not one to stretch it out when it is done
You don't care enough to care

This hurts like hell
Don't you try to wish me well

No sound
Silence all around us
Breakdown
What I want to say is to loud
Everything I want to tell you falls
Falls between us now

Tell me
Where you wanna go?
Tell me
I really want to know
Tell me
I don't think you know

No sound
Silence all around us
Breakdown
What I want to say is to loud
Everything you want and all you are
Stays between us now

Where you wanna go?
I don't think you know
This hurts like hell
Where you wanna go?
This hurts like hell
Track Name: Pterodactyl
On a swing with the sun overhead
That's when the pterodactyl landed on her sleeve
Oh the weight that she had to bear
She cried, "Why is this happening to me?"

And she struggled to walk straight
But soon she found a way
And when it was leaving
It was strange, she wished it would stay
She said, "Come back home"

Years went by and she never forgot
About that pterodactyl landed on her sleeve
Oh what luck, divine interplay
Made her what she is today

Now she speaks of the burden
as if it was a gift
And she can't shake the longing
for that moment everything clicked
She said, "Come back home"

A slow motion playback of a time
that went by too fast
And she swears if there's a next time
She will know, be quick to react
She says, "Come back home"
Track Name: Replaceable
Breathe in the air
And choke on the guilt
None of us deserve
What those before us built
Cuz we sell ourselves
At bargain costs
While a million lookalikes
Could come and do our jobs
And we wouldn't feel robbed

Everyone's replaceable
You don't produce, someone will
As for me, I lose my breathe
And take it all too serious
I want to make a real attempt
To have a home no one can rent
A spot that's mine and mine alone
A life that lives beyond a song

There's so much more
Than we leave time for
It's over in a blink
You better push life to the brink
Cuz you're gonna have to die
It's a fact you can't deny
Before you are erased
You better go and stake your claims
Do it today

Everyone's replaceable
You don't produce, someone will
As for me, I lose my breathe
And take it all too serious
I want to make a real attempt
To have a home no one can rent
A spot that's mine and mine alone
A life that lives beyond a song

The sooner that we all see
That we're nothing
The quicker we can move on

Everyone's replaceable
You don't produce, someone will
As for me, I lose my breathe
And take it all too serious
I want to make a real attempt
To have a home no one can rent
A spot that's mine and mine alone
A life that lives beyond a song

Everyone
Everyone's replaceable
Track Name: Same Place
Let the trigger go
Put your weapons down
Time to contemplate

It’s not who you know
It’s not what you do
It’s not what you make

Oh, water’s running down every single drain
Chemicals react in you and me the same now

You gotta take a breath
You can’t separate

Why you wanna run me out of town?
Why you wanna wear each other down?
Why you wanna run this like a race?
No matter how you get there
All of us are going to the same place

You’re on a sugar high
Put your soda down
Decarbonate

All your present needs
Will make your future bleed
They can all wait

Oh, Kelly knows a Richard, Richard knows a Jane
Jane knows a Marcus, Marcus is the same guy
That you used to be
Don’t look away

Why you wanna run us out of town?
Why you wanna wear each other down?
Why you wanna treat this like a race?
All of us are going
All of us are going to the same place
Water’s running down every single drain
Chemicals react in you and me the same now
You gotta take a break

Why you wanna run us out of town?
Why you gonna wear each other down?
Why you wanna treat this like a race?
Both of us are going
Both of us are going to the same place

Why you wanna wear each other down?
Track Name: Sidesteppin
She's been waiting for a heart attack
Some man to come & knock her on her back
And it doesn't seem to matter she's already attached
Her man at home, he's as blind as a bat

So she's sidesteppin
She's sidesteppin now

He calls home, he'll be back pretty late
Got a big, big project that he can't delay
But he's not at the office, he's out on a date
With a 6'1" blonde he met Saturday

He's sidesteppin
He's sidesteppin now

We're all sidesteppin
All sidesteppin now

Are you home feeling all alone?
With the same old Joe, no electric flow?
Don't fear, a solution's here
Erase all your debt with a tête-à-tête

All sidesteppin
All sidesteppin

No one's happy in the place they're in
Everyone's peeking at their neighbor's garden
No way to fight it cuz it's in our bones
Made to wander, we were born to roam

We're all sidesteppin
All sidesteppin now

We're all sidesteppin
All sidesteppin now

I'm so tired of love wearing out
When it begins, so fierce, so loud
But then it fades
I get the urge to step out
I should say goodbye
Cut it off clean
Instead of sneaking around

But I'm in boredom up to my neck
Walking straight is a lifeless trek
I ain't found a love worth saving yet
I'm sidesteppin next chance I get
Track Name: Sleep Here
Sleep here tonight
Please don't leave my side
I promise not to bite
If you promise to stay the night
Track Name: Something Always Happens
I need you to tell me
Which way is up and down
I have no answers
I’ve lost the ones I found
just when I get off the ground

Something always happens
To deny me
Something always happens
Pulls me under you

I want to trust you….
I can’t control this
it leaves me short of breath
Random and wreckless
We’re such a pretty mess
just when I regain my senses

Something always happens
To deny me
Something always happens
Pulls me under you

I wanted you
Endlessly
Straight-ahead
And trouble free
I wanted love
But nothing’s free

Something always happens
To deny me
Something always happens
Pulls me under you
Track Name: Something Good
This is really turning into something
Maybe something good

A flicker of an image sparks inside of my mind
Like a meadow in a ghetto
Tossed with lemon and lime

This is really turning into something
Maybe something good

I describe the feeling like a giant fish I'm reeling in
(This is really turning into something
Maybe something good)

Butterflies are fleeing down a hole inside the ceiling now
(This is really turning into something
Maybe something good)

Contrary to opinion, I have 20/20 eyes
And the doc he says I'm healthy for my age & my size
This is really turning into something
Maybe something good

Forces keep plotting against me
As words leave my mouth they're misunderstood
I'm nothing, not no one, nobody
Just trying to carve up my mind like wood
Form a shape that is hopeful and helpful
Become what I always knew that I could
Something good
Something

Contrary to opinion, I have 20/20 eyes
And the doc he says I'm healthy for my age & my size
This is really turning into something
Maybe something good
Track Name: Stand Inside Your Love
You and me
Meant to be
Immutable
Impossible
It's destiny
Pure lunacy
Incalculable
Insufferable

But for the last time
You're everything that I want and ask for
You're all that I've dreamed

Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love?

A pure soul
And beautiful
You
Don't understand
Don't feel me now
I will breathe
For the both of us
Travel the world
Traverse the skies
Your home is here
Within my heart

And for the first time
I feel as though I am reborn
In my mind
Recast as child and mystic sage

Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love?

And for the first time
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for
Your every move and waking sound
In my time
I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind
You're mine forever now

Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love and die for?
Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Track Name: There Is You
When all my ideas
And all my big plans
Clumsily fall through the palm of my hands
There is you
Then there is you

When they build me up
You tear me down
So when their interest wanes
It's not far to the ground
Clever you
Lucky for you

How did I get by before you came?

How did I survive before you came?

When I lose the map
Stuck in a maze
You write me letters
And tell me which way I should choose
To get back to you

When I lose the spark
Choke my own throat
You sing along to the words that I wrote
They sound new
Coming from you
They sound new
All thanks to you
I feel new
Thank god for you
Track Name: There Is You Or There Is Chaos
Dishes in the sink
Bills left unpaid
Clothes spread on the floor
Phonecalls ignored

My life can't proceed until your next to me
I will hold this one breath inside my chest
till you let me breathe

When I'm in your presence
Only the present has meaning
And the rest of time dissolves
And I could die in your arms

Too many cigarettes
Endless shaking fits
Vodka before bed
Nails bitten red

This isn't me
But it's all that I can be
Without you I am groundless
Have no balance on my own two feet

When I'm in your presence
Only the present has meaning
And the rest of time dissolves
And I could die in your arms

Come and rescue me
I am begging please
There is you and there is chaos
One or the other
No in-betweens

When I'm in your presence
Only the present matters to me
And the rest of time dissolves
And I could die in your arms

When I'm in your presence
Only the present has meaning
And the rest of time dissolves
And I could die in your arms
Track Name: Time Ticks
There is no proper picture frame
That could capture this display
More than a feeling
It's a smell
A particular taste

Like water down the drain
Drops of life just flush away
Our hands get wet
But 99% gets away

Time ticks
Everything explodes into bits of memory
The moment we're in is paper thin
Footsteps
Please don't walk away from me yet
The moonlight crashes on your face
And it makes me feel safe

A slow motion serenade
Where not one second goes to waste
And every whisper is exactly what you wanted to say

Like a shotgun to the face
Of every clock that sets the pace
We're suspended in a black hole kind of embrace

Time ticks
Everything explodes into bits of memory
The moment we're in is paper thin
Footsteps
Please don't walk away from me yet
The moonlight crashes on your face
And it makes me feel safe

Stay right here with me
Pretty please

Time ticks
Everything explodes into bits of memory
The moment we're in is paper thin
Footsteps
Please don't walk away from me yet
The moonlight crashes on your face
And it makes me feel safe
Track Name: Trying To Leave
When did you arrive?
Cuz I missed your entrance
I can't believe my eyes
They're stinging with passion

You picked a really bad time
To walk into my life

I'm trying to leave
With my conscience clean
It's not easy resisting your energy

If there's a god
He sent you to tempt me
You're doing a really good job
Want to pick from your fruit tree

Another glass of wine
And I start to cross the line

I'm trying to leave
With my conscience clean
It's not easy resisting your energy
You're way to heavy
For my weak knees
It's not easy resisting your energy

I want you

I'm trying to leave
But it's hard to ignore you
I'm trying
I'm trying

I want you
Track Name: Warning
Everybody tries to tell the youth:
"Live life to the fullest.
Make every moment count,
Cuz life is short and precious."

How come it never sinks in?
No matter how hard we're listening
No matter how hard we concentrate
We only learn the hard way

So thanks for the warning
But it don't change nothing
Thanks for the warning
But it don't change nothing

I drive way too fast
Kill someone in a car crash
I know it's not impossible
To put someone in the hospital

How come it never sinks in?
No matter how hard we're listening
No matter how hard we concentrate
We only learn the hard way

So thanks for the warning
But it don't change nothing
Thanks for the warning
But it don't change nothing

Yeah we think we're so clever
Yeah we think we're so clever
Yeah we think we're so clever
But one day we'll know better
Track Name: What You Want & What You Need
As the bruises on her back start festering
She wonders what she ever saw in him
Just when escape seems a worthwhile feat
She worries that her kids won’t have enough to eat
It’s the difference ‘tween what she wants and what she needs

He’s got four weeks vacation & the benefits are nice
But every single morning he prays the sun won’t shine
He’ll make less money if he follows his dream
But at the end of the day it’s just a smaller TV
It’s the difference 'tween what he wants and what he needs

We can build those fences high to keep them out
But who among us gonna pick those berries now
Either we raise those wages and the company bleeds
Or learn to live with less and plant those seeds
It’s the difference 'tween what we want and what we need

I put my headphones up real loud to shut them out
They’ve been yelling so long they forgot what they were fighting about
They swore they’d stay together for the family
But now they’re signing papers choosing who gets me
It’s the difference ‘tween what they want and what each one needs

You said it would be forever rain or shine
But now she takes pills daily to balance out her mind
With the women at work you flirt and tease
But she’ll never survive if you decide to leave
It’s the difference ‘tween what you want and what she needs

I got something on my mind I need to say
I've been in love with you since we met that fateful day
And when you went away I could barely breathe
It made me realize what you mean to me
You are what I want, you”re what I need
There’s no difference ‘tween what I want and what I need
Track Name: You Know Better
I should think before I speak
Says the dunce to the queen
Guess another apology is pretty weak
Well maybe you own part of the blame
Maybe you were too quick to break

You know better than to fall for me
You know better than to fall to your knees
All my pets die tragically
You know better than to fall for me

I tore you apart
But it wasn’t my design
You could have walked away
I could have been kind
Maybe you saw what you wanted to see
Maybe I wanted you to believe

You know better than to fall for me
You know better than to fall to your knees
All my pets die tragically
You know better than to fall for me

You saw what you wanted to see
You saw what you wanted to see
You took what you needed from me
But I needed some room to breathe






Ideas

Maybe i should show restraint
Maybe i need to be tamed
Maybe i stopped it too late

Maybe i showed a --- --- (2 syllable adjective meaning “false” ) face
Maybe you laid your own grave
Maybe it was the bed you made

Maybe i could have showed more grace
Maybe i allowed it to be
Maybe it felt good to me

Maybe i sold the dream
Maybe i fed the dream


Call me (mr.) Edward scissorhands
And your caught
In my grip i’m sorry that you had to bleed
Just so i could feel like i’m free

Guess i am what i am
And it’s not very much
But you knew it from the start
I get lost
In the grip of fantasies that i’ll never attain

In the chase for anything that i don’t have
Track Name: You Only Make It Worse
I see them on your tongue
The words like a loaded gun
But you can't get it done
Just say the words
What's done is done

You say the timing's wrong
You need to be alone
You serve me every food
Except the truth
Accept the truth

Honey, just shut your mouth and speak to me
Do you ever say what you really mean?
No, you only make it worse
You wanna make it hurt the worst

I'm a dog still on your leash
Being dragged some fifty feet
You gotta cut me free
The two of us
Just let it be

Just shut your mouth and speak to me
Do you ever say what you really mean?
No, you only make it worse
You wanna make it hurt the worst
Just make the cut and let me bleed
Anything's better than the in between
Do you ever say what you really mean?
You only make it worse
You wanna make it hurt the worst

Just make the cut

Just shut your mouth and speak to me
Do you ever say what you really mean?
No, you only make it worse
You wanna make it hurt the worst
Just make the cut and let me bleed
Cuz anything's better than the in between
You only make it worse
You wanna make it hurt the worst