Bulldozzzer

by Val Emmich

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03:03
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03:24
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02:35
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02:34
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01:18
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03:18
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03:38

about

"Intimate, sparse, & stripped down. With only a single acoustic guitar or keyboard on most tracks, the vocals – often barely whispered - come to the fore, intensely personal and often troubled. Bulldozzzer seems to be a full length rumination on Val Emmich’s life...who am I, where am I, where is this all going… ? These are all questions we’ve asked in the emptiness of the night, in the loneliness of our minds. Val Emmich is just brave enough to share them with the world."
-- Jim Testa, JerseyBeat.com

"Emmich’s last album, “Aide Memoire,” was my favorite album of 2011. His follow up, “Bulldozzzer," is a much more bare album, no epic sprawling 8 or 9 minute songs. The result is no less compelling. It is a melancholy disc, possibly no more so than the crushing closing track, “Audience,” detailing the question every artist has to ask at some point in their career, “There’s no one left in the audience. Everyone wants to be in the show. / So what am I doing here? I don’t know.” We’ve all had those days. The way Val sings this literally brought tears to my eyes. As long as Val keeps making brilliant albums like “Bulldozzzer,” I will be in the audience, and you should be too."
-- Blowupradio.com

credits

released August 28, 2012

Produced, Mixed & Engineered by Jason Cupp
"Bulldozzzer" & "Little Girl" Produced & Recorded by V.E.
Songs by Val Emmich (PEZeaters Music, BMI)

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Val Emmich Jersey City, New Jersey

Singer-Songwriter / Actor / Writer

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Track Name: Walking Cane
moved out of your parents’ house.
we bought ourselves a queen.
i go only where you go.

settle down like normal folks.
try to take it slow.
i go only how you go.

there are days i get away to see what i can be.
but i only end up going lame without my walking cane.

i used to have opinions back when we met.
now i know only what you know.
up here on a mountain i keep my eyes closed.

so i won’t see what you’re not here to see.
there are days i get away to see what i can be.

but i only end up going lame without my walking cane.
you’re my walking cane.

i can’t go.
Track Name: Tenderest
oh no… i keep forgetting the plan.
don’t go… taking on more than you can.
that’s all.

now i’m burying the key to my heart.
locking the door to my tenderest spot.
so tired of falling apart.
fed up pretending i’m someone i’m clearly not.

a request… forget you ever knew my name.
i’ll rest… i’m bowing out of the game.
that’s all.

now i’m burying the key to my heart.
locking the door to my tenderest spot.
so tired of falling apart.
fed up pretending i’m someone i’m clearly not.
Track Name: My Will Will Not
my heart sets the pace
my eyes navigate
my hands orchestrate
my shoulders bear the weight
my mind calibrates
my mouth makes the case
my gut leads the way

but my will will not
no my will will not
no my will just won’t obey

my alarm clock awakes
my coffee motivates
my pills medicate
my drinks inebriate
my cigaratte contemplates
my needle penetrates
my talents go to waste

cuz my will will not
no my will will not
no my will just won’t obey

my wife advocates
my parents allocate
my sisters mediate
my brother educates
now i appreciate
now i appreciate
how hard it is to change
Track Name: Like Minded
It’s so hard when you arrive
where you’ve been the whole time
in your struggle to find
the like minded

Why make the house up nice?
When there’s no one to invite
Where are they hiding tonight?
the like minded

Where is everybody? Where is…where is…everybody?
I’m missing the friends that I’ve never had
To laugh at my jokes so I know I’m not mad
I think that I’m mad, I think that I’m mad maybe

It seems the older I get
I’m stuck with the people I’ve met
Only strangers get why I’m upset
the like minded

I get lonely as can be
searching for somebody like me
understands without having to speak
the like minded

Where is everybody? Where is…where is…everybody?
I’m missing the friends that I’ve never had
To laugh at my jokes so I know I’m not mad
I think that I’m mad, I think that I’m mad already

the like minded
can’t find them
Track Name: Flat
don’t show me what i want.
don’t show me what i’m not.
i won’t get my hope built up just to see it crushed.

ignoring what i want.
ignoring what i’m not.
i won’t get my hope built up just to see it crushed.

i’m flat.
i’m no longer reaching.
no longer reaching up.

i’m blind to what i want.
i’m blind to what i’m not.
i can’t get my hope built up just to see it crushed.

i’m flat.
i’m no longer reaching.
no longer reaching up.
ain’t reaching up.
Track Name: Bulldozzzer
it’s been a day, a week, a month, a year since my breakdown
i can’t recall the brawl that set me off
i punched your lights out

i never bend … i just break.

full force ahead i pave my path like a big bulldozzzer
crush the trees, the leaves, the birds, the bees to get what i’m after

i never bend … i just break.

i never compromise till it’s too late
it’s too late

full force ahead i pave my path like a big bulldozzzer
Track Name: Little Girl
oh little girl
you’re too small for the world

soon you won’t fiit in my arms
but for now you’re mine to guard

oh little girl
you’re too small for the world
Track Name: If Not For You
If not for you …
I never stop to laugh …
I let the good parts pass by me

If not for you …
I don’t get out of bed …
I don’t get past my head …
past me

No longer looking for a fight …
I only want to do what’s right by you

If not for you …
I act before I think …
play too close to the brink …
I lean
If not for you …
I’m still seeking revenge …
still thinking I can win …
envy

No longer turning through the night …
I only want to do what’s right by you.

If not for you …
I’m still sick
Track Name: Last
I’m the kind that thinks
himself into extinction
who makes a map to scale
with block letters and captions
This dance is for the young
what decade is this?
I’m calling all the shots
it’s not good for business

I’m so good at starting things
but I’m less good at finishing
I’m trying to say the truth in a way
It sticks and stays
I’m trying to make something that takes
your breath away
something that lasts
more than a while
something that lasts
on and on

i’m the kind that shoots
before even aiming
i want my name in lights
in a star set into pavement
i’m holding myself in
bloated like a blowfish
when will i burst?
will anyone notice?
I don’t know

I’m so good at starting things
but I’m less good at finishing
I’m trying to say the truth in a way
It sticks and stays
I’m trying to make something that takes
your breath away
something that lasts
more than a while
something that lasts
on and on

I wanna last

I’m so good at starting things
Track Name: Audience
the painter he died alone
decades later they built his throne
proclaiming his great worth
while he was buried under all that earth
would have been nice to hear
while he was upright and breathing air

i heard someone joke
we’ve gone as far as we can go
no longer a difference ‘tween
those who watch and those being seen
fear I was born too late
no one left to hear what I say

There’s no one left in the audience.
Everybody wants to be in the show.
So what am I doing here?
I don’t know.

there’s a soiree out back
full of art school undergrads
they make great party hats
but not a one understands math
each does a one-man play
streaming live in 50 states

the critics now work from home
no longer paid to sing along
i miss their companionship
a steady voice amongst the frantic
just wanted art that’s true
just want to talk about the blues

There’s no one left in the audience.
Everybody wants to be in the show.
So what am I doing here?
I don’t know.

had a picture in my mind
but it’s gotten harder over time
to hold on to that dream
can’t deny what i see
and there’s no sadder sight
than the man who can’t call it a night