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Autobio (Part Two)

by Val Emmich

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Download of the full EP includes 6 bonus tracks (acoustic versions, demos, outtakes) and a digital booklet with song notes, unreleased photos and lyrics.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4 USD  or more

     

1.
Seems my friends and me are full of jealousy No one else is taking life seriously Just us Just me All the girls our age are into older guys Rumor is that Mazza had two at one time Yeah right I heard it was three And we end up at the diner puffing cigarettes We talk about the girls we could never get Not now Maybe eventually We're bursting at the seams Waiting for something But nothing ever happens When we're on the scene I want to kiss someone I want to fall in love But I'm afraid I'm going to waste in the Garden State Playing roller hockey in the cul-de-sac Jamming out at PJ's cranking Fender amps We're huge in our dreams Jay he plays a murderer in a show And scouts are watching David pitch He might go pro Who knows Could be Tonight there was a party up at Cathy's house We were gonna crash but we chickened out Got stoned And went to sleep Andrew hung himself from a backyard tree Now there is an empty chair next to me I cried It could have been me I'm bursting at the seams Ready for something But nothing ever happens When we're on the scene I want to have some fun I guess I'll do some drugs I'm afraid I'm going to waste in the Garden State It's time for me to send my applications out My grades are high but that's not what I care about Beth won't sleep with me, she says we're such good friends It's something that my one-track-mind can't comprehend And Danny's tripping, listening to my guitar Convincing everyone that I'm some kind of star I stay up late, I'm videotaping MTV I swear that one day soon I'll be just like Eddie I know I believe I'm bursting at the seams Starving for something But nothing ever happens When we're on the scene I’m restless and I’m numb I guess I'll fall in love I'm afraid I'm going insane Such a shame I'll never escape from the Garden State
2.
Four babies in a row My mother had lost in utero I arrived just in time deep in the winter of '79 My folks spoiled me At least that's what my sisters see Then my brother came along Taking my place as the youngest one And I see it now today How I fit into my place I am a middle child A little bit tame and a little bit wild I am a middle child Keep everyone happy, gotta please both sides I am a middle child Don't know what it means but it's me all right I'm always in between Stuck in the center of two extremes Half laughing, half in tears A little bit straight and a little bit queer I went to college, got a degree Then shoved it in a drawer and tried to live free I keep trying to take the lead But the blowback sends right me back into the weeds Oh well I am a middle child A little bit tame and a little bit wild I am a middle child Keep everyone happy, gotta please both sides I am a middle child Don't know what it means but it's me all right The middle has become a thing of shame You’re either left or right, sane or insane I gotta stop trying to hide Cuz I am what I am what I am What am I? I am a middle child A little bit chaste and a little bit vile I am a middle child Always trying to make everyone just smile (cry) I am a middle child Trying to broker peace but starving for a fight
3.
'I think it's time,' she says, 'for you to put to rest all the fears in my head. I'm not getting any younger. I'm not the kind of girl who's gonna wait here forever.' 'What's the rush?' I say. 'You know how much I love you. The rest gets in the way. I don't want to make you wonder. But everything is sunny. Why you wanna make it thunder?' Oh no, I'm not ready I was finally smooth and steady Can we wait just a little bit longer? When I'm more sure and stronger? None of this is what I planned Life keeps coming, it's all out of my hands I think I finally get it It falls into place if you let it 'I think it's time,' she says. 'Put our money in a house instead of blowing it all on rent. It'll be an investment. We'll even have a room to put all our guests in.' 'I don't know,' I say. 'I'm always on the move, I don't if I want to stay. How about California? If the acting gets slow never say I didn't warn ya.' Oh no, I'm not ready I was finally smooth and steady Can we wait just a little bit longer? When I'm more sure and stronger? None of this is what I planned Life keeps coming, it's all out of my hands I think I finally get it It falls into place if you let it 'I think it's time,' you say. 'My body's getting older, I'm ready for a baby. Stop the pills I'm taking. It might not even happen, so quit your bellyaching.' 'Not again,' I say. 'I'm barely treading water. A kid'll just add more weight.' But you always convince me. I'm really glad you do No matter what I say Or else I'd never change Oh no, I'm not ready I was finally smooth and steady Can we wait just a little bit longer? When I'm more sure and stronger? None of this is what I planned Life keeps coming, it's all out of my hands I think I finally get it It falls into place if you let it It falls into place if you let it
4.
Boys 05:33
We all heard the story They tied his arms up to the quad And dragged him through the woods And left him there And someone older warned me If I came to high school I would likely not get out alive I believed him My sister got a beat down From a kid who grew into a man Who shot his best friend dead While they were hunting The sky is blue The grass is green I'm not safe And no one's safe from me The boys are bored And bloodthirsty They’re everywhere They are me There was an old lady We rang and ran a thousand times She hobbled after us And begged for mercy We broke into this one house And urinated on the carpet Just because we could It was funny I jumped onto a mattress Off the roof, my brother followed, Tripped and broke his arm I could’ve killed him The boys are out They’re on the streets I’m not safe And no one’s safe from me In my home In my dreams They’re everywhere They are me Aimless rage Such energy I’m not safe And no one’s safe from me Did we ever have security? I know you’re scared And you should be I was at rehearsal My mother called and asked me home To pull my father out of the backseat I grew a paranoia From all the trouble we would find I never knew much peace in the suburbs
5.
I was always stuck inside A relationship that was fight I always felt like I had to have someone Even when it was clear that she wasn’t the right one They could tell I wasn’t there And I wondered if I’d ever care But then I met the one who knew how to reach me She was a lot like me but the opposite completely I was all alone I was all alone But now I’m not You were born way too soon The oceans had obeyed the moon All the nurses claimed it wasn't happenstance There was a tsunami all the way in Japan They told your mom and I, 'Go live your lives. She's gonna have to stay here thru the night.' And for the next three weeks that was your home All the tubes sticking to your itty-bitty bones You were all alone You were all alone But now you're not We went to Vegas as wedding guests We saw the sites of the great Southwest We slept real late, there wasn’t no rush Cuz the world was only the two of us But that was now ten years ago Baby, there’s gray in your hair but you still got a glow Now our car’s so full we drive in the slow lane We have nightmares of losing all that love we gained We were all alone We were all alone But now we're not I cannot believe How the heart the heart can keep expanding

about

This is Part Two of the Autobio series. Download of the full EP includes 6 bonus tracks and a digital booklet with notes, unreleased photos and lyrics.

credits

released October 19, 2018

Produced & Recorded by Val Emmich in Jersey City, NJ
Mixed by Jason Cupp in St. Louis, MO
Mastered by Tom Ruff (Asbury Media)
Songs by Val Emmich (PEZeaters Music, BMI)

Val Emmich - vocals, guitars, bass, keyboards, percussion, programming
David Bassiri - guitar, lap steel, slide, keyboards, programming
Mickey Riad - B3 organ, piano, keyboards, glockenspiel
Paul Rosevear - vocals (#1)
Rob Fitzgerald - bass (#1)
Christina Alessi - vocals (#2)
Jeremy Gelade - bass (#2, #5)
John Hebert - upright bass (#3)
Jill Emmich - vocals (#5)
Harper Emmich - vocals (#5)
Lennon Emmich - vocals (#5)

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Val Emmich Jersey City, New Jersey

Singer-Songwriter / Novelist / Actor

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